A Mass of Odds and Ends

One of the advantages of Skype is that I can use it when I’m away to apply maternal cross examining techniques, watching the teenagers turn away when I ask the question they don’t want to answer. There are therefore few surprises for me when I get back (I tutted disapprovingly to find the washing that I hung out a week ago still languishing on the line but I can’t pretend I was surprised to find it there) so it is fun to find the small intense world of our pets still functioning in its timeless way, Night still longing for Smokey to leave her alone in her dog bed, so that she can really spread herself out.

Securing her bronze eyepiece in position my stepgranddaughter finally asked the question that has been bugging her for some time, “Chi commanda qui?” She watches her grandfather and I with the intense expression of an anthropologist studying a rare and doomed tribe , but I suspect all four of our children would like to know who is really in charge. 

When we decided to get married we were taking a leap into the unknown. I’ve lived in two continents and gave up on proper jobs over twenty years ago whereas Aldo left his childhood home to move in with me and has always worked. Combining our children, our cultures and muddling along in three languages (the boys and Aldo talk to one another in dialect when they don’t want me to understand…) we’ve reached a point where neither of us can really answer her question. Aldo clearly controls the kitchen, from purchase of food (”Why did you buy THIS pasta?” he’ll ask, eyes swivelling skywards when I point out that it was on special offer) to preparation, including washing up and general management. I’m in charge of laundry, simply because the sound of the washing machine working in the mornings when I am on my own makes me feel that things are happening, even if my work is becalmed. We seem to pass the big decisions backwards and forwards, never sure who decides what, but Andrea wanted a proper answer. I suggested Aldo but he pointed to Jasper, who professed shock: “The only person I am in charge of here is Mum.” Aldo nodded sagely.